It's Never Too Late (CRW150 - #8)

“It is never too late to be what you might have been”, George Elliot, has been on my frig for years. I see it every day and oftentimes I don’t even notice it. But when I stop to drink something, standing alongside my refrigerator, I see this quote and read it again. And I think, ‘Yes”, I can’t go backwards and do things over again the way I could have or should have done them in the first place. But I can move forward in the knowledge that every day is another opportunity to do things differently, to try again and this time, not to fuck it all up. At least with some things.

So, even though I wasn’t sure who even wrote this quote in the first place, it stuck with me all these years and struck a chord inside my mind, to be better and do more. Not because someone else told me to do so, but because I wanted it for myself, for my own life. Because I chose to honor a life I had already been given.

George Eliot wrote this quote in 1884 and it is still as valid as it was then, over one hundred and thirty years ago. We live with so many regrets today, as individuals and as a society. It is nice to think we are not at the bottom of anything and if we are, we can climb up to keep going. I’m all for that. We all hit rock bottom or find ourselves in places doing things, when all we want to do is the thing we’ve always wanted to do; the thing that calls to our very souls. It doesn’t mean hang up everything and leave it all behind, it means to take time for the other things you may want as well. Or go back and finish what you started, enjoy the life you have and don’t give up.

Some of us actually get to accomplish what we set out to do in life and we love doing it. But, lets face it, most of us do not. We are working to earn a living to support ourselves and our families. And along the way, our hopes and dreams got lost. There just wasn’t enough money or a way to make them work, so they were abandoned. But that doesn’t mean they should stay that way, it just means we have to try harder to find a way to make them come true. And to become what fulfills us, to be what we wee mean to always be, because it is never to late. I feel that sometimes taking chances, stepping out of our security and risking our comfort and complacency, can be daunting, but an important segway gaining the support, knowledge and opportunities we need to accomplish new goals.

I was a single mom for over twenty-three years and had the opportunity to finally go back to school and believe me, it was exciting. Along the way, I also developed new skills as I helped my kids and their community of co-op education. This grew into job opportunities in theater that helped me build two separate resumes over the years as I worked with outstanding actors and directors here in the valley. So, you just never know what will come your way when you least expect it and when you are open to new possibilities.

I am still exploring the person I was always meant to be, as I enjoy writing and art.

Pauley (CRW150 - Post #7)

Kathy Cannless and I were walking back from the barber shop, sucking on jolly rancher sticks, when I spotted our classmate.
“There’s Pauley”, I said gesturing with my green candy.
Kathy looked up from her book and nodded, “Oh yeah, hey Pauley”.
Pauley waved and ran up to us, his red hair flapping in the wind.
“He looks like a pirate ship flag, coming in for a landing!”, I chuckled.
Kathy looked up again from her book, “Oh yeah, he does!”
Pauley stops in front of us, eyeing our faces and candy filled grins, “Whatcha laughing about?”
“Oh nothing”, I start to say before Kathy starts talking over me.
“Your hair, flying in the wind”.
“What about it?”, asks Pauley, looking from Kathy to me and back to Kathy.
“Well, Sheena said it…”
“No, I didn’t”, I try to silence Kathy.
Kathy takes her candy out of her mouth and looks directly at me, “Yes, you did”.
“What did Sheena say about my hair?”, asks Pauley looking straight at Kathy.
“Kathy, don’t!”, I plead as I push towards her.
Pauley puts his hand on my shoulder and asks again, “Kathy, tell me about my hair, please?”
Kathy looks serious for a brief moment and then giggles. “She said it looked like the flag on a pirate ship!”, and sticks her candy back into her mouth.
Pauley turns to face me as I try to wriggle free from his hand holding my shoulder.
“Arrgh, Matey, I outta make ye walk the plank for that kinda talk!”
I scream in delight and begin laughing so hard I drop my candy in the grass! Pauley bends over, picks it up, wipes it off and sticks it in his mouth. “Yo ho! A pirate’s life for me!”
“Pauley!” We both gasp at him. Kathy’s laughing and I’m astonished!

Turn Back the Clock and Begin Again (CRW150 - #6)

I really haven’t any brains, you know. And I might have to go into settings to change that… if only I could find my settings. But thus far, it has been a fruitless endeavor. I’m really not sure why, except for the absenteeism brain problem. That seems to be the root of all my issues these days.

You see it all started when I was talking to the saguaro, who was then whispering to the Ocotillo, when the Prickly pear interrupted. Prickly pears are known to be, um, kinda prickly and rude. Next thing you know the saguaro and the Ocotillo have turned away and I am left in an argument with the damnable prickly pear, who’s name is Russ, by the way. It seems that Russ thought I had insulted his violet flower, behind his back. What?! I didn’t even know Russ was even in bloom. Maybe that’s why he was overly sensitive and maybe misheard incorrectly.

Well, one thing leads to another and before ya know it, Russ had slapped my cup of TEECHINO out of my hand! The nerve of that guy! Plus, Pricklys leave little pointy spines behind and the side of my hand was full of them, where he’d made contact. So, I began yelping in pain, stood up, hit my head on an overgrown flowering lantana bush and fell directly into its folds, losing my brain out my biggest ear. Holy Case for Christ!

As I lay limp and wounded, in the yellow and purple hues of the tangled mass of lantana overgrowth, I think I also smacked my left eye because I kept seeing “The Wolves of Winter” approaching me cautiously as their skins covered companion lowered his bow to look me over. But I don’t think this is what Ken Payne had in mind for this statue or maybe I just need to fight my way out of this lantana filled nightmare.

Back on solid ground, I feel fuzzy headed and my left ear is wet, but it doesn’t dawn on me yet that I’m missing a major part of my anatomy. I just feel the pain in my hand and all the funny smelling leaves on my clothes, look down and see my nametag; “Lee Strobel” on my shirt. Guess I forgot to take that off when I got home from working at the HAND SANITIZER Shop.

Darting a quick look to make sure I’m not being followed by Russ, I call my friend, Pablo and ask for a ride to my chiropractor.
“Yes, I know, Pablo, But I think getting in to see my chiropractor will really help me”.
Now, if I could just figure out where I put my phone, as I look at the hand I seem to be talking to.
See what I mean? Losing your mind is one thing, losing your brain is an entirely different situation and really not that much fun either.